Career Tear

Is the office birthday club going haywire?  Gain control with a properly executed club mantra.

Members

1. I will contribute my entire pledged amount without hesitation or attitude.
2. I will put my pledge in my desk drawer when I get paid on Friday.
3. I will not spend my pledged amount then ask my cubicle neighbor to let me “hold” something until I can break my $20.
4. I will not avoid the Birthday Club Treasurer should I happen to frivolously spend my pledge.
5. I will not give the birthday club treasurer pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters.
6. I will not give the birthday club treasurer a personal check.
7. I will not give the birthday club treasurer an I.O.U.
8. I will not pretend that I am in the bathroom when pledge pay up approaches.
9. I will not lie by saying that I already donated knowing that my name is not on the list.
10. I will not pretend that a $100 bill is the smallest bill I have in order to avoid honoring my pledge.
11. I will wait until everyone has had at least one slice of cake and one scoop of ice cream before I ask for seconds.
12. I will not sneak another piece of cake for myself knowing that I intend to wrap it in foil and take it home to Jr. and Boo for dessert.
13. I will not greedily ask for the last end piece until I know for sure that the birthday honoree says “Go ahead.”
14. I will not spit out the cake in front of my co-worker when I discover a strawberry jellied surprise in the middle.
15. I will not ask the Birthday Club President if he/she ordered the cake from Target or Wal-Mart.
16. I will not ask to see a detailed accounting of the division of the birthday fund contributions.
17. I will not question the extravagance or weakness of any gift that the Birthday Club president buys.
18. I will not inquire if there was a surplus and rollover of birthday funds.
19. I will not request a refund.
20. I will not get an attitude if Sheila’s cake and gifts were better than mine during my birthday celebration.

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